If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize