For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
