Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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