yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
