I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
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