i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
