Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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