yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
