He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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