What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
