Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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