I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
