I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
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