i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
