If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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