so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Randomize