Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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