WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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