Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
