Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I know her cup size but not her name....
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
