some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
