your parents love me but you hate me
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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