my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I need to sanitize my soul.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Randomize
