is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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