I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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