guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
