I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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