I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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