So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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