Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I look excited, but its just a facade.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
