I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
you will always have a special place in my vag
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
