She's JV to your varsity
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
