Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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