I think I just saw someone hide a body.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
