Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Randomize
