so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
