There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
