I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
