We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
