I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Watching her eat just hurts me
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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