I heard we made out
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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