He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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