Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
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