I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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