My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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