On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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