how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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