What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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