Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
