Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
