Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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