She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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