Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
