marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
