No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize