Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
