Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
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