On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I don't deserve a penis
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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