I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
