Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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