Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Let's get the cat blown out
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
