he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
