i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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